24 December 2014 @ 01:31 am
Upside Down [16a/18]  
Title: Upside Down
Author: [livejournal.com profile] kaossbells & [livejournal.com profile] mcsparklez
Beta: the wonderful [livejournal.com profile] gypsyjaeger
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Belldom
Summary: Based on the mkmeme prompt: A rich music collector has almost everything he ever craved for, almost. One special object is still missing in his collection: Matthew Bellamy!
Warnings: language, violence
Feedback: Is like Matt Bellamy bathing in red glitter; fabulous.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and has never happened. We do not own any of the people mentioned and do not mean to offend.
A/N: Merry Christmas, everyone! Much love to all of you <3


[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3a] [Chapter 3b] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5a] [Chapter 5b] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7a] [Chapter 7b] [Chapter 8] [Chapter 9] [Chapter 10a] [Chapter 10b] [Chapter 10c] [Chapter 10d] [Chapter 11] [Chapter 12a] [Chapter 12b] [Chapter 13] [Chapter 14a] [Chapter 14b] [Chapter 15]



Somewhere between London and Teignmouth, 23.12.2013

“Matt, no!”

“You can’t be serious, man!”

“But it’s a Christmas song!”

“It’s fucking Wham!”

“But I’m the driver! The driver gets to pick the music!”

“Not if his fellow passenger’s ears start bleeding from his horrible taste!”

Matt’s hand still hovered over the radio and he was positively glaring at the drummer until Dom eventually caved. With a disgruntled pout he put his left hand back on the steering wheel and leant back in his seat. They’d already been on the road for about 2 hours now, just having passed Bristol, and well on their way to Teignmouth. The weather was brutal to say the least. Sleet was pouring down on them like mad, and it had been like that for the past week. As if that wasn’t enough already the weather seemed to be exactly the same for the greater part of England. The southern to mid part, that was. North England was pretty much dry or so the news people wanted to make them believe. That wasn’t Dom’s train of thought, though. No, Matt was slowly but steadily getting back to his former media paranoid self, and although Dom would have never thought it possible, this made him happier than anything, and only a tiny bit annoyed if he was being honest.

“Prick,” the blonde mumbled, but his lips curled into a soft smile.

“I’m just trying to save our lives here,” Matt replied and crossed his arms. “You should be grateful.”

“Oh, you think so? And why, pray, is that?”

“Well, look at all that shitty sleet. You can’t even see the road properly. If I hadn’t stepped in you would have also impaired your hearing. You really think I wanna put my life into the hands of a blind AND deaf driver? No way.”

Dom furrowed his brows and bit his lip, pretending to think about Matt’s words. But in truth he just needed to stop himself from actually laughing. It just felt so liberating to have bantering Matt back.

“Yeah, you’re right, I guess,” he sighed in mock resignation. Then he yawned and closed his eyes for a second. “I’m too tired for loud music, anyway.”

“Are you fucking insane?” Matt cried out in a high-pitched voice and was already leaning over to Dom to make a grab for the steering wheel.

“No, but apparently you are,” Dom laughed and nudged Matt’s chest to get him back into his seat. “You can’t just attack the driver, didn’t you learn that in driving school?”

“Stop fucking with me,” the singer pouted and turned away from his friend, suddenly appearing to be far more interested in the landscape behind the completely blurred window. “Dick.”

“What did you just say?” The drummer was still grinning widely and he was actually afraid that it might become scary at some point.
“Dick.” Matt somehow managed to pronounce the single syllable as if it was made of two.

“Yeah, I thought as much,” Dom replied, giving Matt’s arm a friendly nudge and they fell into a comfortable silence after that.

It was weird, to be frank. So much had happened while so much hadn’t happened. Their talk that one October night had really changed things around. For the better, mind you. No, possibly even for the best. Matt had opened up again. Finally Matt was talking to him again, not letting him in the dark about anything anymore, going so far as telling the blonde the horrifying details of his ordeal. From humiliation to blackmail, Dom now knew everything inside out, and felt a bit like he’d been living it himself. He had also learned what made the brunette tick, what set him off and what calmed him, what Dom himself was allowed to do and what he wasn’t.

Matt had also agreed to start therapy, finally admitting he needed professional help, even though he was still convinced that seeing a therapist made him look broken to everybody (secretly, Dom thought that he somehow had been, but he’d never tell Matt that). The situation still wasn’t easy, mind you. But dealing with it wasn’t as hard anymore, now that they were on the same page again. There had been moments in which Dom had almost started crying, just because he felt so relieved. Those moments were becoming fewer as they were both getting more stable, but still, seeing Matt smile… It was heart warming, really.

Dom had settled back into comfortableness when his best friend was around. They both obviously craved each others’ presence, even if nothing even remotely romantic happened between them. The drummer didn’t push because he had his friend back. Of course he still wanted him like mad, but he had promised to wait, and wait he would. Just knowing that Matt wanted him, too, was enough to calm his ever so frayed nerves. And if anything the man deserved to get all the time he needed. Dom knew him well enough to be sure that he’d come around when he was ready.

It was amazingly nice to finally be sure of something again. Of something concerning Matt. After not being sure if he’d ever see him again, if he was still alive, then if he ever wanted to talk to him again, if he was still Matt. Now he knew things again. He knew that Matt wanted him around. Most of the time he knew how Matt felt. And those instances he didn’t, he wasn’t afraid to ask anymore. If he felt like something was bothering his friend, he was just straight with him and asked.

In return Matt seemed to get better by the minute. He also wasn’t afraid of facing what had happened to him anymore. At least not too afraid. Of course there were still nights, especially those after his therapy sessions, in which he was restless and wouldn’t fall asleep for hours. But they knew that it was part of the healing process. If Matt wanted to go back to his life, this was the way. Probably the only. And even though digging up all this unconscious shit made him fragile and unstable at times, they both saw his progress. Which, now that Dom thought about it, was probably the reason why he continued. He saw the progress and felt how well it did him. He’d finally understood that things that did him well, were probably the best things in life. Like Dom.

Yes, the singer had once said this to him, it wasn’t anything he was thinking about himself. One night after an especially revealing and soul-stirring meeting with his therapist Matt had snuck into Dom’s bed. For a moment Dom had been shocked to suddenly have his arms full of a sobbing Matt, but he’d caught on quickly enough. Emotion spilling and close hugging and the need for more comfort had occurred then. Of course Dom had felt incredibly bad for his friend, but he’d also been secretly happy that he’d again become the person Matt turned to in times of vulnerability. In all times. They were growing close again. Closer than they’d ever been, maybe.

“Mate, eyes on the road!” Matt suddenly scolded him, bolting upright and gripping his seat, his indignantly high-pitched voice tinged with slight panic.

Dom shook his head to get back to reality. He’d slowed down a lot and now people were honking and giving them the finger. Oh. Well, that’s what thinking about Matt Bellamy does to you.

“Sorry,” the drummer mumbled while suppressing a small smile. It could’ve been worse.

“I think you’re not fit to drive.”

After one of the more persistent honkers had passed them by, the singer had settled back into his seat with crossed arms and an enormous pout on his face. From where Dom was sitting it looked like Matt’s whole face had turned into a pout. Laughter threatened to disrupt his driving so he tried to keep it to the bare minimum. He didn’t want to crash them into anything, after all.

After a few minutes of silence which they both needed to come down from their short, strange high, Dom rested his head back and snuck a quick look at his friend. Matt seemed comfortable enough, with his eyes closed and his hands resting on his belly. His fingers were tapping along to Freddie Mercury’s Thank God it’s Christmas and his lips moved ever so slightly as if they were forming rudimental words. Dom bit his lip in thought. Talking in itself wasn’t a problem between them anymore. But some topic’s still felt a little too delicate to be upfront about them. So he had to be more careful when addressing them.

“So…” he breathed and broke the silence again. “You’re really okay with this?”

“With what?” The singer turned his head a little and shot Dom a confused look.

“With celebrating Christmas in Teignmouth. With Chris and the family. With everybody. People,” he kept hinting, not turning his eyes away from the road.

For a moment Matt remained silent. Dom could almost hear him thinking all the possible answers through before settling on one. To the drummer it was painfully obvious that Matt was still scared of larger crowds and of people asking him questions. But to his surprise his friend’s face softened a little, smoothing out his frown. A small sigh escaped his lips before he finally spoke up.

“I don’t know, to be quite honest. I like to think that I am, in fact, okay with it. I want to be.”

“You know that they won’t pester you about anything, right? And if it gets too much, you can always take a break. You can always tell me,” Dom continued and tilted his head at his friend.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. But I really want to see everyone and I don’t think I’ll break,” the singer replied half-jokingly, but Dom could still hear the slight fear underneath his words. He would definitely keep an eye on him. Better not to let him notice, though.

“The kids are really looking forward to seeing their crazy uncle again,” the drummer said in way of reassurance. “I talked to them on the phone the other day and they didn’t even care about me coming down for Christmas. All they wanted to know was if you were coming, too.”

A genuine smile curled the corners of Matt’s lips,one of the things that really made Dom’s heart skip a beat. He just loved that look on his friend.

“I’m happy about seeing them again, too. Didn’t even realise how much I missed the little buggers until Christmas came around.”

“Funny, they said the same about you.”

“Fuck you, Dom,” Matt laughed, leaned back and comfortably crossed his ankles.
___

Teignmouth, 24.12.2014

Matt was lounging on the sofa in his favourite old sweatpants and the green Christmas sweater his mum had given him a few years ago, rewatching the latest Doctor Who special, when Dom entered the living room. There was a plate full of biscuits and a half-empty teapot on the table. Just like Dom had left him an hour ago when he’d gone to the kitchen to put up some Christmas decorations and make his famous sauce for tomorrow’s dinner with his mum and his sister’s family. Fuck, when had he become the housewife in this… friendship?

“Oi you lazy fucker! Get off your arse and help me, will you?”

Matt turned around, his still dishevelled and unwashed mop of hair just peaking over the back of the sofa.

“No.”

“No?”

“No.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because I’m lazy. You just said so yourself.”

Dom rolled his eyes at his friend’s avoidance of any Christmas-y work. “Got all your presents wrapped?”

“Yup.”

“Cards written?”

“Yup.”

“Clothes ready for tomorrow?”

“Seriously, Dom. Who do you think I am.”

“The most unorganised person I know. That’s why I’m asking.”

I think you’re asking because you’re jealous that you have to do all your preparations while I can watch telly and eat delicious biscuits.”

“You could at least help me decorate the house. Your house.”

“Nah. Tomorrow we’re gonna be at my mum’s place and your mum’s place and the day after at Chris’. Why bother?”

“Because it’s fucking Christmas, you dick.”

That made the singer pause for a second and he gave Dom a strange look, almost tentative. It was… weird. All of a sudden his features were swiped clean of amusement (at the drummer’s expense, mind you) and instead there was something akin to soft intensity, if that even existed. Dom felt awkwardly exposed as Matt’s eyes fixed him on the spot. It felt almost like the singer was looking for something on Dom. What, he didn’t know. The moment was only broken when Matt licked his lips and grinned again.

“You’re adorable when it comes to all things Christmas.” With an exaggerated groan he rolled over andlifted himself up off the sofa. “Okay, I’ll help you. But only if I can be in charge of tinsel.”

“Matt, we don’t even have a tree-”

“Tinsel!”

Dom caved with a sigh and nodded. “Then you shall be the commander of tinsel. Brat.”

“Great,” Matt said and clapped his hands to show his waking enthusiasm, successfully ignoring the latest insult thrown his way. He knew Dom didn’t mean it, anyway.
___

Later that evening the whole house glowed in soft Christmas lights and smelled of fresh biscuits, hot chocolate and fir. The tinsel was basically everywhere now, but Dom didn’t really care much. After their decorating session the two had gone out to the shops to run some last minute errands. Sleet was still pouring down on the small seaside town, covering everything in thick layers of wet slush. Almost perfect Christmas weather, Matt had called it. Dom still grinned at that again.

He was seated in one of the huge, comfy armchairs, with a book in his lap and a cup of tea on the tiny table to his left. The drummer could admit that he hadn’t felt this relaxed in forever. Christmas wasn’t one of his favourite times of the year for no reason. Just as he wanted to return to his book, Matt strolled in through the door. His face was still flushed from the shower he’d just taken and a few wet strands of hair were sticking to his temples while the rest of it didn’t look very obedient to its master’s will, either.

Dom’s eyes followed his every movement. The singer evidently hadn’t noticed him yet and so he stayed quiet. You didn’t waste an opportunity to see Matt Bellamy completely relaxed and unguarded while wrapped up in his thoughts.

Matt tentatively made his way over to his grand black piano. He seemed unsure about his intentions, though, and so he circled it for a few moments, his eyes not leaving its sleek, shiny surface. Then he came to halt, still a few inches away from the instrument. As he started gnawing on his lip Dom also saw the longing glistening in his blues. For a second the drummer stopped breathing.This was such a private and important moment that he suddenly felt incredibly bad about watching it. He didn’t want to break it either, though, and so he stayed in silent limbo.

The singer extended a cautious hand towards the piano and slowly put his fingers on its strong, wooden body. A quiet exhale escaped his lips and he closed his eyes, apparently going through a mess of thoughts and emotions. Then he shook his head and smiled almost sadly when he caressed his ‘friend’ ever so lovingly. This seemed to mark the end of the moment and so Dom quickly turned his eyes back to his book, pretending to be so engrossed by it that he hadn’t noticed Matt’s presence, either.

“Oh. Sorry, didn’t know you were here,” Matt almost squeaked in surprise.

“What?” Dom mumbled and looked up at his friend. “Oh. Since when’re you here?”

“Just… erm, walked in. Care for some… Mario Kart?” Ah, distraction. That was a plan of action Dom could get on board with.

“Sure,” he nodded, eager not to let the awkwardness take over their evening.

 
 
( Post a new comment )
[identity profile] aka-demon72.livejournal.com on December 24th, 2014 04:36 am (UTC)
Omgggggg Matt yaaaaaaayyyy

It's so good to see them laughing and bantering again oh god

<3
[identity profile] kaossbells.livejournal.com on January 19th, 2015 08:47 pm (UTC)
Yaaaaaay indeed! Taking huge steps here, right? We loved the return of the bantering, too. So much fun and so much easier than constant tension. Although... getting into the easiness again was kind of a chore for us. Considering our love for the dramatic. And angst. Quite the change x)

Thanks so much for taking the time to leave us your much appreciated thoughts!

Edited 2015-01-19 08:48 pm (UTC)
[identity profile] nuraicha.livejournal.com on December 24th, 2014 11:30 am (UTC)
I AM HAVING FEELINGS AND I HAVEN’T EVEN STARTED YET. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *moves arms like a windmill*

Somewhere between London and Teignmouth, 23.12.2013 aaawww it’s beautiful thinking they go home on Christmas
No, Matt was slowly but steadily getting back to his former media paranoid self, and although Dom would have never thought it possible, this made him happier than anything, and only a tiny bit annoyed if he was being honest. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA REALLY???????? OMG OMG OMG OGM OMGOGMGIGGOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was weird, to be frank. So much had happened while so much hadn’t happened. Their talk that one October night had really changed things around. For the better, mind you. No, possibly even for the best. Matt had opened up again. Finally Matt was talking to him again, not letting him in the dark about anything anymore, going so far as telling the blonde the horrifying details of his ordeal. From humiliation to blackmail, Dom now knew everything inside out, and felt a bit like he’d been living it himself. He had also learned what made the brunette tick, what set him off and what calmed him, what Dom himself was allowed to do and what he wasn’t. I want to cry. I am so happy. Omg. Merry Christmas and bless you.
In return Matt seemed to get better by the minute. He also wasn’t afraid of facing what had happened to him anymore. At least not too afraid. Of course there were still nights, especially those after his therapy sessions, in which he was restless and wouldn’t fall asleep for hours. But they knew that it was part of the healing process. If Matt wanted to go back to his life, this was the way. Probably the only. And even though digging up all this unconscious shit made him fragile and unstable at times, they both saw his progress. Which, now that Dom thought about it, was probably the reason why he continued. He saw the progress and felt how well it did him. He’d finally understood that things that did him well, were probably the best things in life. Like Dom. I want to cry omg. I can’t believe this is happening omg omg
“I talked to them on the phone the other day and they didn’t even care about me coming down for Christmas. All they wanted to know was if you were coming, too.” aaaaawwwww ahahhahaahhahahahahaha yes <3
Matt was lounging on the sofa in his favourite old sweatpants and the green Christmas sweater his mum had given him a few years ago, rewatching the latest Doctor Who special eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee YES I HAVE BEEN WAITING ALL MY LIFE FOR READING THAT OMG I AM SO HAPPY
Fuck, when had he become the housewife in this… friendship? AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA SINCE ALWAYS, MATE
“You could at least help me decorate the house. Your house.” I had missed all this banter, SO MUCH

Okay I am not going to pretend my heart didn't break at the piano moment but... I am still *so* happy with this chapter! I love seeing them being *them* again and how much they have evolved (*whispers* character development is like kink for me, OH YES). GIVE ME MOAR
mcsparklez: matt black white jacket[personal profile] mcsparklez on January 19th, 2015 08:56 pm (UTC)
Feelings are always good!...... I guess? Well, maybe not :D

There was no other way than sending them home on Christmas. We both love the image of them being all together for the time when families gather and celebrate together. They are a family, after all. Which also reflects in the way the kids are reacting, and also - if a bit more subtle - in Dom's need to have a proper Christmas.

That Doctor Who mention might have been for you especially ;)

It was indeed a long road, but it was time to give them some peace. Matt's been working hard, and even though, at this point, he isn't yet ready to go back to how things were (or evolve from them), he's come such a long way... He deserves this. And so does Dom, of course.

Thank you for the lovely comment, as always. We're sending so much love your way, you have no idea <333
[identity profile] rocketbbydolls.livejournal.com on December 25th, 2014 08:39 pm (UTC)
just read all chapters in one go!!!! :D oh dear, can't even imagine the terror matt had to go through, poor angel :(( dom has all my respect for being so strong and patient the whole time and in the end managed to save matt from the hell he'd been going through. so happy to see matt coming back to normal as well, even though it might take some more time for his musical self to come back to him. but i'm sure he'll get there eventually!
love this fic, thank you for sharing it <3
[identity profile] kaossbells.livejournal.com on January 19th, 2015 08:52 pm (UTC)
Oh dear, that must've been quite the marathon! But there you go, you're probably far more aware of all the connections than we are by now xD

And I think you summed it all up pretty well. Matt definitely went through hell and so did Dom. The true hero of this story, probably. You're right, he really deserves all the respect. And Matt's musical self is sure to make a glorious return, because seriously? Can anyone imagine Matt without music?

Thank you so much for your kind words, they really really mean the world to us!
[identity profile] unomusette.livejournal.com on December 25th, 2014 11:44 pm (UTC)
Waaa, this is such a happy thing to read, and on Christmas Day too, liking your timing very much :) So good to read about Matt being properly himself again, I can just picture his face being one big pout, lolz

Some gorgeous turns of phrase here and the sometimes careful way they're circling each other is beautifully expressed. That scene at the end with the piano, just genius. Sniffle.

Merry Christmas, and thanks for this lovely pressie
xxx

mcsparklez[personal profile] mcsparklez on January 19th, 2015 09:04 pm (UTC)
We didn't aim for the date, but yes, it was indeed perfect timing to post this. We're glad you enjoyed this so much and that it was a little present for you. Merry Christmas, albeit late one, to you too!

Matt's The Pout™, it's really easy to imagine him pouting 24/7. And it's good to see him back, I agree! We missed him just as much as everyone else.

As always, thank you for commenting. Big package with love and hugs on the way to you, make sure to receive it ;)
[identity profile] musadinessuno.livejournal.com on December 27th, 2014 10:53 pm (UTC)
awhawhawhawhawh!

I'm SO happy Matt is getting better! It's a matter of trust, which is just so easy to lose and very hard to get back - especially when it's yourself you don't trust anymore. Good old Matty was all about confidence, so this guy who can't even bring himself to play a few chords on the piano, who is too scared to even look at it, well, he feels almost like a stranger - but not to Dom. He loves him so much he sees right through things, he knows what Matt is feeling when he looks at that piano, and I think that's the main reason why I'm going on Amazon UK now and see if they sell mini-doms over there, because seriously, he's just a gem and I want one. ♥

(Although, Matt is quite right on one thing - Wham, Dom, seriously???)

Well, ladies, this has been a pleasure to read as always, but... YOU JUST CAN'T STOP THERE, I NEED MORE RIGHT NOW! /threatens them with a half-eaten banana

Looking forward for an update! xxx

- Ely

[identity profile] kaossbells.livejournal.com on January 19th, 2015 08:58 pm (UTC)
Wheeee, so glad that you're so happy :D

And wow, you're so right about the whole trust issue. How can you trust someone else if you don't even trust yourself? And it's not like Matt doesn't want to trust. He really does, believe me. Imagine to feel like a stranger to yourself... And that's exactly why everybody needs a Dom in their life. He is a gem indeed. I also think that it is exactly the difference between someone who "knows" you and a real friend. Sometimes they see things you can't see yourself and help you trust again. If you've got someone like that, it's the most precious thing in the world.

Oh, we feel so very threatened! x) And thanks soooo much for leaving us your comment. Reading these things always makes our day.
mjartrod[personal profile] mjartrod on December 27th, 2014 11:48 pm (UTC)
So I finally get to read this (properly, I mean). It is VERY annoying that on top of having to wait for the latest installment, lately I end up not being able to sit down to read it properly until after a few days. Boo! I still think I should be consulted in regards to when each chapter should be posted. Ahem. :p

That said:
Squeeee :) Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatt!! *cuddles*

Banter? Check. MattBellamyParanoiaTM? Check. MattBellamy-sexy-without-meaning-to? Check. MattBellamy-at-the-piano-making-us-sigh? Check.

Nice to see Dom relaxing, at last. It may have been a hundred thousand words since the last time.

“Because it’s fucking Christmas, you dick.”
(wheee i can quote now lmao)
I honestly LOLed at that hahaha!

Dom felt awkwardly exposed as Matt’s eyes fixed him on the spot.
Yeah. I felt that too. *crosses legs*

Nice little Xmas pressie, loved this <3 Why in the world would you mind that it's short ffs? It's not the length that matters, but what is in there :D

More of the C pls. You know what I mean.
xx

PS- Long live Queen. One of the few Christmas songs that is acceptable <3
mcsparklez: Matt/Dom drumriser[personal profile] mcsparklez on January 19th, 2015 09:09 pm (UTC)
Queen's is the only acceptable one. Except maybe for Coldplay's Christmas Lights, but that is debatable.

Isn't it so much sweeter to wait forever to read, then finally read it? It's basically like waiting for Muse to come on stage. Think about it.

Matt Bellamy. Check.

It's quite nice to see them both returning to their everyday routine. The nightmare is finally over :) (It's actually over a 100,000 words, so you were spot on lol)

Since 16b is already out I don't have to tell you there's more C on the way, but let's just say that there's maybe even more C on the way, who knows?

Thank you for like, everything in the world. You know what I mean.
[identity profile] space-black-out.livejournal.com on January 11th, 2015 12:19 am (UTC)
Ooh, I'm late! I missed this in all the Xmas family celebrations, but awwww it's so good to catch up! And it warmed my heart to see Matt being more like his old self!
That part where he's circling his piano, almost as though he's nervous of unleashing something if he plays it though...my heart was in my mouth, you can do it Matt!
And climbing into Dom's bed to cry... *sobs but loves it*

Thank you for updating, you continue to have me hooked with this story, even if it takes me a while to catch up sometimes!
Love to you both! :)
[identity profile] kaossbells.livejournal.com on January 19th, 2015 09:04 pm (UTC)
Oh Lou, you're never late ;)

Yes, you're exactly on time for the return of Matt's old self. It might take him some time to fully recover (Let's be honest, he probably will never be the same because shit like this changes you forever. Some scars never fade completely.) but there's Dom to help him on the way.

He probably was scared of exactly that. Unleashing something. Memories, thoughts, fears... But he's Matt. He can manage anything.

Thank YOU for your dearly loved support! Your comments are always sooo much appreciated! <3