08 April 2014 @ 01:06 am
Upside Down [6/?]  
Title: Upside Down
Author: [livejournal.com profile] kaossbells & [livejournal.com profile] mcsparklez
Beta: the most amazing [livejournal.com profile] gypsyjaeger
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Belldom
Summary: Based on the mkmeme prompt: A rich music collector has almost everything he ever craved for, almost. One special object is still missing in his collection: Matthew Bellamy!
Warnings: language, violence, drug-use, mentions of alcoholism
Feedback: Is like Matt Bellamy bathing in red glitter; fabulous.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and has never happened. We do not own any of the people mentioned and do not mean to offend.
Author’s note: This is like, super late, and we're sorry about the delay. Real life, Bachelor thesis and gig life wouldn't allow us to sit down properly. BA thesis is done (yay!) and gig life is over (nooo) now, though, so we're back. Thanks for the continous support and we hope you still enjoy this!

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3a] [Chapter 3b] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5a] [Chapter 5b] [AO3]



15.08.2013 - London

“So, can’t we just take them down?”

“One by one, Dom? That’s a neverending task. There’s nothing we can do.”

They were sitting together in Chris’ living room, staring at a tiny laptop screen, and watching helplessly as the pictures of Matt spread over the internet. The speed reminded Dom of a disease. Tumblr was practically full of them, people on Twitter even tweeted their accounts and asked if those pictures were real. Magazines like NME were all over them, spinning stories around the pictures, how Matt Bellamy was fighting to survive under the terror of the scariest psychopath of 2013. And if they weren’t reporting about The Nightmare, they were speculating that it was all a huge PR gag for an upcoming album or tour. It was even worse than they had expected, and it made Dom’s skin crawl.

“But there has to be something we can do!”

“We’ve already talked about this,” Chris interjected. “Our hands are tied. Best we can do is ignore it, as much as it pains me. All of us.”

The drummer huffed at that and crossed his arms. No, he couldn’t simply ignore it. Of course they had known this would happen. They had talked about all possible ways this could go and how to deal with it. But seeing it become reality made Dom throw all of their carefully spun plans to the wind. This was Matt people were talking about, and he wouldn’t let anyone talk about him like that, least of all the degrading shit some were posting. A PR gag? How fucking sick thought people they were? It made Dom angrier than he’d probably ever been.

“Ignoring it my arse,” he muttered. “I won’t let anyone say that Matt’s enjoying this. That it’s all a joke.”

Tom closed Twitter down and navigated to another website Dom didn’t know, and, frankly, didn’t care about.

“I know. But what do you expect us to do? Shut down the internet?”

Chris, who was seated next to Dom on the tiny sofa, leaned back and stared out of the window.

“Wouldn’t be such a bad idea right about now,” he grumbled. Then he grabbed the packet of cigarettes that was lying on the coffee table, and wordlessly made an escape to the terrace.

Dom watched him go before he turned his attention back to the black piece of technology. Tom was currently browsing the collectors’ website, probably looking for new information. Because that was all they did nowadays. The police couldn’t give them any leads. There was no new information at all. They were still where they had been days ago, even though they wouldn’t voice it quite like that. Whitman always told them that they were working on it and that it takes time, but Dom was tired of the bullshit. He knew what it meant, and he couldn’t stand the thought of them being helpless any longer.

In a sudden bout of anger he launched forward and grabbed the laptop from the table.

“Hey!” Tom exclaimed.

Quickly, he scrolled down to read the latest post of Beethovens5th again. There was a single new picture attached, but Dom didn’t bother to open it. He’d seen it on Twitter already and didn’t want to see it ever again. But he wanted to read what the kidnapper had to say. He wanted to understand how someone could get pure joy from abducting and showcasing a person like this.

He wanted to understand why this monster wanted to reduce Matt to an item meant for collecting purpose.

But all the reading only helped to intensify his anger and pain. There was nothing to understand. This guy was sick and deranged, and the hardest punishment on the planet wouldn’t be enough for him. But Dom would make sure it would be as painful as possible.

Furiously he smashed his hand on the keyboard and pressed the arrow down button to get to the post reply button.

Tom peered at the screen from the side. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m gonna fucking give this collector guy a piece of my mind.”

“And what do you think that would achieve?”

Nothing. He knew that. But he had to let this guy know that they’d find him, that he couldn’t just go around and spread pictures of Matt, and still think he’d get away with it. Dom would break every single bone in his body and make him regret ever breathing a single bit of air in Matt’s vicinity.

“Doesn’t matter. If you want to sit around, please do so. I’ll find him and kill him,” he snarled and started to type furiously, before Tom reached out and pulled the laptop from his grasp. “Hey! Give that back!”

“No, Dom. That’s enough of your bullshit for today.”

“I give you fucking bullshit, Tom. I swear to God-”

“No, you shut up, now,” the photographer interrupted him and pressed Dom’s shoulder into the sofa. “I’ve had it with you.”

Dom growled low at his friend, ready to start another fight if he had to. Instead, however, Tom got up and pulled at his own hair, clearly trying to reign in his anger.

“You know what, Dom. Do whatever the fuck you want,” he said way too calmly for their current situation. “Write that damn comment if you must. You can even go out at night and run through the streets if that helps. Yes, we fucking know about it. Wallow in your damn self-pity. Hell, go out and shout it from the rooftops. That will surely improve the whole ‘I want people to stop talking about it’ business, because giving them new fuel always helps with that. Stop being a stupid headless chicken and start to think!”

By now, Chris had stuck his head back inside to see what was going on, ready to jump in and defuse the situation if he had to. Dom looked at him for a moment before his eyes returned to Tom’s hard stare. The drummer narrowed his eyes, debating what he should say to that.

“At least I’m trying, unlike you,” was the only reply he could come up with that didn’t involve another huge fight. He didn’t want to fight anymore. “I’m going out now and try to find him. Like a stupid headless chicken.”

With that, he quickly made his way out of the house, not waiting for anyone to utter another word.
___

Instead of running around town, the blonde had decided to plant himself in a small booth in the back of a pub around the corner. He didn’t want to get roaringly drunk, not this time, but he wanted his peace and quiet. And okay, maybe he did want to get one drink.

He didn’t know how long he’d been sitting there, but when he looked up, he saw a familiar face approaching his table.

“Should have known you went to O’Neill’s,” Kelly said, before she sat down next to Dom and placed two glasses of booze in front of them.

“What do you want?” Dom grumbled.

“I was looking for you.”

“What a surprise. Have the hounds sent you? You can tell them that I won’t do any stupid shit tonight, they can put their worries to rest.” He didn’t need another babysitter on his trail.

She sighed. “I was looking for you because I wanted to make sure that you’re okay.”

“I’m not going to pull another stunt like last time.”

“I know. I just want to make sure that you’re not alone in case you need someone to talk to. Because I know how hard all of this is on you.”

He stared at the content of his glass intently, just to avoid looking in her pitying eyes.

“Dom,” she carefully laid her hand on his. “We will find him. I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

She sighed. “You know I don’t. The police are doing what they can, even if you don’t believe so right now. It won’t be long until you two are re-united and can cuddle or do whatever R rated things you’re doing in your freetime.”

At that, Dom froze. Fuck, she knew. He grabbed his glass forcefully and tried to gulp down some of the whiskey to ease the dryness in this throat. Braving a glance at Kelly, he saw her watching him expectantly, as if to gauge his reaction.

“Shit. Chris said...” he swallowed once, twice before he averted his eyes. “Chris promised not to say anything. I’m sorry, I wanted to tell you, but Matt and I have never talked about it and now there wasn’t any time and then-”

“Dom, Dom, calm down,” she interrupted him and put her hand on his cheek. “Darling, it’s okay.”

Tentatively, the drummer turned to face her. Kelly simply smiled at him, which, somehow, calmed Dom more than anything else had these past days.

“Chris didn’t have to say anything. It’s in your eyes.”

“My eyes?”, the blonde asked.

She simply shrugged. “The boys might be oblivious, but female intuition and motherly instinct can’t be fooled.”

She actually grinned at that. “I won’t tell a soul. And I won’t tell anybody about your other little secret, either.”

Dom frowned at that. What little secret? “What do you mean?”

“You’ll figure it out, darling.” With that, she leaned back and sipped on her own glass of whiskey.

“Should you even drink that?” Dom asked her.

Kelly simply shrugged in answer and took another sip.

They stayed like that for a while, with Dom being lost in thought and Kelly letting him be. At some point, Dom couldn’t stand the silence anymore, though. He also wanted to ask her about Chris desperately, but didn’t know how she would react. He didn’t want to remind her of anything bad. But at the same time…

“Can I… ask you something?”

She nodded.

“Sure, what is it?”

“When Chris was… not well,” the drummer tried to find the right words, not wanting to upset her.

By the softening of her features, he knew that she knew exactly what he was talking about, and Dom was thankful that he didn’t have to spell it out.

“What about it?”

“Did you know everything would be okay one day?”

“Of course,” she replied immediately and Dom wondered if it was the truth. Looking into her eyes and having known her for almost 15 years, however, told him that it was indeed nothing but the truth. And he admired her for her iron will and trust in one of his best friends.

“But… How?”

At that, she simply smiled.

“I trusted him. I knew he’d come back to me,” then she looked at the drummer again. “And so will Matt to you.”
Dom didn’t know why, but he believed her.

“Damn, woman!” he exclaimed. “How do you do that? You actually make me believe that.”

“What can I say? I’m just that good.”

They shared a giggle before they resumed their silence, both drinking the remainings of their alcohol.

“I’m sorry I’ve been such an arse,” Dom whispered.

“You’ve never been an arse, really.”

“But I have been ever since this whole mess started,” the blonde protested. “I’ve treated you all like dirt, and that wasn’t fair of me.”

Kelly was about to open her mouth when Dom raised a hand to silence her and continued.

“You’ve been so nice to me. You let me live with you and take care of me, and yet, I’ve never done anything for you. I didn’t even say thank you. So, yeah, thank you. Thank you for everything you do.”

She smiled at him. “You’re family, Dom. You’d do exactly the same for any of us.”

He nodded vehemently at that. Yes, he would. He’d never abandon anyone of his friends, and none of them would, either. But that didn’t mean that he could just take his friends’ help for granted.

“You’re under a lot of stress, you’re worried. And even though you have your moments, you’re doing fine. Everyone’s on edge, you’re bound to fight. You guys fight all the time, anyway.”

“Maybe you’re right. I just… I didn’t want to…“ He sighed and his shoulders slumped visibly. “I just can’t sit on my arse and do nothing.”

“I know,” Kelly said and gently rubbed the drummer’s forearm. “But there’s no point in running around headlessly. And what if you had actually posted that comment and the kidnapper read it? He could have gotten angry and punish Matt for it.”

At that, Dom paled visibly. He hadn’t even thought about the possibility, he had just wanted to vent his anger. He was foolish. He was an idiot.

“Oh, Dom,” Kelly said when she saw his panicked look. She punched his shoulder softly, before she gave him a fierce hug. “Let’s go back, yeah? I’m sure the others are waiting.”

Dom simply nodded and they both got up. He needed to apologise. “Just let me pay the drinks,” he fumbled for his wallet and added “and yes, that means yours as well”, when she pulled out a note.
___

Just as Kelly had suspected, they found Tom and Chris sitting in the living room, waiting for their return. As soon as Dom entered the room, he saw Tom jumping up and walking over to him. Fully expecting another tongue lashing or, worse, a punch to the face, he flinched reflexively. Instead, though, Tom laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it affectionately.

“‘m sorry,” the brunette whispered.

Dom shook his head. “No. No, it’s okay. I am sorry. I keep being a burden to all of you,” he turned to Chris and nodded at him. “To all of you. I’ll try harder from now on, I promise.”

It seemed like Tom was about to say something to that, but then thought differently. His mouth opened and closed, before he frowned. Then, without warning, he broke into uncontrollable laughter.

“The fuck?” To say Dom was confused was an understatement. Had his friend lost the plot?

“Oh my God, Dom!” the photographer exclaimed. “Don’t be such a pussy!”

„I’m not a pussy,“ the blonde protested. “I mean it.”

“I know you do. But really. That was very cheesy.”

Dom huffed. Fine, maybe it was a bit cheesy, but it was the truth. He needed to make them understand that he had understood. By the teasing tone of his friend, though, he knew that everything was forgiven already. Still, he’d try his damn best to be calmer from now on, no matter how it looked inside him. It wasn’t their fault things had turned out like this, and he couldn’t always count on their forgiveness. Hell, he couldn’t even be sure they’d forgiven him all the fuck-ups he’d done in life so far. He really had the best friends in the whole world.

“So, can we move on now and decide on what we’re gonna do? Except throwing death threats around a forum, that is.” Tom sat down on the sofa again and motioned for Dom to do the same.

The drummer looked at Chris first, as if asking for confirmation that, indeed, the little crisis was over. When he received an encouraging nod in return, he sat down and gingerly looked at the laptop screen. There he saw the Muse website being opened with a new entry halfway typed out.

“What’s that?” he asked a little stupidly.

“An announcement,” Chris explained. “We thought it might be a good idea to do an official one. You know, to counter all the spreading rumours.”

Tom nodded. “We don’t want to say much about it. Just that it’s true Matt’s missing and that we ask for some privacy.”

“We believe that a lot of our fans will understand and stop posting these pictures. Maybe take them down. We won’t be able to eliminate them from the internet completely, but maybe we can reduce them this way.”

A short silence followed in which Dom read through the announcement they’d written out so far. At last, he nodded. “That’s looking good. Yeah, I like it.”

The other two smiled at him, clearly relieved they were all in the same boat again.

“I’m gonna finish this quick,” Tom said and started typing immediately. “Then we can decide on our next steps, alright?”
___

16.08.2013 - London

True to his word, Dom tried to be better with his outbursts and behaviour towards the people around him. After they had posted the announcement, they had received a lot of fanmail and well-wishes, and Dom was thankful for that. It felt good knowing that their fans were there, in some form, to have their backs. He was going to post a quick thank you note later when he was home because they truly deserved his thanks.

At the moment, however, Dom was at the Sainsbury’s around the corner to buy ingredients for tonight’s dinner. After Kelly had played mum for him since he’d taken over the spare bedroom, today was going to be different. He’d thrown the Wolstenholmes out of their own house and told them to have a wonderful day at the zoo with the kids. In the meantime he had cleaned the whole house before going out for grocery shopping. Tonight he’d cook them a wonderful meal and thank them properly for all the hardships they’d gone through with him since the beginning of August.

He turned into the next aisle and checked his grocery list again. Just some minor things were left, like a pack of Ava’s favourite crackers. Then he could head home and start on the dinner preparations.

He was just about to grab a package of pasta, when someone behind him called his name. Dom turned around to see Suzanne, the girl from the restaurant, walking over to him.

“Hello, Mr. Howard,” she said shyly.

Dom smiled at her and wondered briefly how often they’d have to tell her to call them by their first names.
“How are you? Oh God, that was a terrible question, wasn’t it?” she babbled. “I mean, I know you’re not feeling well because of the situation and I didn’t imply that everything is fine and that you’re happy or anything. I mean you look happy- no! I mean, you look fine and I just- Oh God, sorry, that is coming out wrong, I just wanted to-“

“It’s okay,” the drummer interrupted her and took her hands in his own. “It’s alright, don’t worry. I’m okay, considering the situation. I’m doing okay. How are you?”

She seemed to ponder on his words for a moment before she relaxed and weakly squeezed his hands. “I’m fine. Just a lot of work. Nothing important.”

“I hope the café is doing okay? Reporters not bothering you?”

Suzanne shrugged. “It could be worse. There are a couple of people coming in and asking questions, and some try to sneak into the kitchen to spy on the staff to eavesdrop, but it’s bearable.”

Dom felt sorry for these people. It wasn’t their fault that all of this had happened, and just because they frequented the café meant that the media thought there could be something to talk about. He wouldn’t be surprised if they made up stories, just to spew some shit, just to have a story. Because apparently, it didn’t matter what was real and what not, as long as they could keep the story of the missing singer alive.

“I’m sorry you have to go through this.”

“Oh, please don’t worry. You’re going through so much worse! I hope Mr. Bellamy is alright and that he’ll be back soon,” she clasped a hand over her mouth before she quietly continued. “I’m sorry, I don’t know if you even want to talk about it.”

“It’s fine,” Dom said, once again. “And I hope so, too.”

“Are there any news? I only know about things that are on the news, but I don’t really trust them…”

He sighed. “No, nothing. It’s like he’s on another planet. They can’t track the abductor, for whatever reason I still don’t understand completely.”

“Do they know where the pictures are coming from?” she asked.

For a moment, Dom considered telling her the truth, that yes, they knew about the messageboard and that the person was showcasing his stolen goods, which also included his best friend. But they had agreed not to spill anything that wasn’t out there already. It didn’t matter that he knew Suzanne wouldn’t tell a soul. He wanted to keep that promise. You never knew who you could trust in the end. So he lied to her, just like he did to everyone else but Chris, Tom and their family.

“No. They’ve appeared out of nowhere, it seems. But they will find out, I’m sure.”

Suzanne frowned for a moment. Then she came closer and hugged him tightly. For a moment, Dom froze before he relaxed and hugged her back.

“I’m sorry you’re going through this, Dominic,” she said, and Dom noted that it was the first time she’d used his first name. “I hope you’ll get him back very soon.”

“Thank you,” he whispered quietly and leaned into her. It felt good to be comforted. Even though she was so young, she seemed to have this loving aura about her. Dom was sure she’d become a great mother in the future.
Dom didn’t realise that he had closed his eyes, but when he opened them he saw Suzanne smiling at him. She thumbed his cheek for a moment.

“I’m sure it will be alright,” she assured him, before she grabbed her shopping basket. “I have to go, but I will keep you guys in my thoughts. When all of this is over, come to the café. Everything will be on me. Even Mr. Bellamy’s hot chocolate.”

She winked at him and Dom looked completely dumbstruck. Suzanne was so nice to him, to them. He didn’t know how he deserved this kindness.

Dom whispered a shy “thank you” before they said their goodbyes and he went back to his shopping list.
___

???

“Matthew, just relax. You know that you can’t play like this, all shaking with tension.”

The guy had to be kidding. He had to! How couldn’t he know that he was beyond uncomfortable? No, scratch that, he was scared to death. Of course he was, how wouldn’t he be? Trapped in a room that was usually pitch black, having his friends threatened if he didn’t act right, and no sense of time whatever. And God, he was hungry. The singer had eventually caved in, plagued by stomach cramps and sudden feelings of faintness. But he was still trying to keep it to a minimum. Slow poisoning was still better than dying of an overdose. The foot had tasted clean, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything and he had no reason to trust the guy.

“Matthew! Sit up straighter, otherwise people will think you are a hunchback?”

The Voice was thick with accusation and Matt instinctively straightened up. It had become somewhat normal to obey as the wellbeing of his friends seemed to depend on it.

“That’s more like it. Now concentrate. I know you can play better than that.”

His fingers felt numb as he dragged them across the keys and the notes he forced out of the ancient instrument sounded dull to him. These past few days (or however long he’d been here now) had taught him to treat music with a certain dread. He couldn’t just sit down at the keyboard and let the melody take over his mind. He was too conscious of himself, too aware of his predicament, and suddenly every note he played felt like a perversion of what had once been his passion and salvation.

Every once in a while a blinding flash illuminated the periphery of his vision, but he’d learnt to ignore the camera. It hadn’t taken him too long, considering that he’d lived half his life with cameras being shoved into his face wherever he went. He didn’t know where those pictures went, just that they went somewhere. There was no energy left in him to actually give a shit about that, though, and so instead he just hoped that his friends didn’t have to see them. The singer had never seen any of the pictures, but he probably looked like a satire of himself in them. At least that was what he felt like. A satire of a man, perverting his own music.

Admittedly, he wasn’t always thinking this negatively. Sometimes, when he was curled up under the thin blanket, surrounded by darkness, he allowed himself to hope for a positive outcome. He imagined how he would be reunited with his friends and family and how everything would be okay again. Those thoughts, thought quietly in his solitary confinement of sorts, were what kept him going.

Very often Matt’s thoughts wandered when he was on the verge of falling asleep and those were the moments when he could dwell on memories without letting them consume him. Random little memories of Buster’s last birthday party, of nights spent discussing new song ideas over the phone with Dom who always listened to him without giving away his tiredness, of the after show adrenaline pumping through their veins and connecting them in way that was impossible to imagine for someone who hadn’t experienced it, and of feeling his best friend -
But no, he never allowed himself to go that far. He knew those memories could very well break him and the backlash of that would be fatal. So he had to keep going and nurse his sanity with these little instances of hope. There was nothing else he could do to keep his friends and himself safe.

“Yes, yes, continue like that, it’s perfect!”

Suddenly The Voice sounded almost euphoric and it was that moment when Matt realised that he had actually started to play properly. The music didn’t mean anything to him, but at least it sounded decent.

“Perfect, Matthew, I knew you could do it!”

A little wave of anger flooded him then. Of course he could do it. Everybody knew he could. The circumstances were what slowed his hands down and kept his heart out of the process. He’d already played whole concerts without his heart being fully in it, for fuck sake. And who could blame him? Sometimes he just didn’t feel like it due to emotional stress or whatever was occupying his mind at the time. That didn’t mean that he couldn’t do his job, though.

“Nah, nah, you look like you want to kill someone. Relax, Matthew. You are doing great.”

“Sounds about right,” he mumbled to himself, but kept playing and tried to regain his composure.

This place was a completely different universe and he understood that he had to obey its rules. He didn’t have to like it, though.

A few minutes later the speakers cracked again and went dead. He knew what that meant. Personal time with his ‘host’. True to his expectations the door opened and the bulky guy came in, his face a prime example of forced calmness. No word was uttered between them and Matt’s breath caught in his throat as the guy bent down next to the bench and untied his feet.

“Here, this is for you,” he grumbled and handed Matt a thin stack of papers.

“What the…” He looked down at it and realised that it was sheet music. “What the hell is this?” The singer looked back up to his kidnapper and vaguely indicated the sheets. They felt, looked, and smelled pretty old. His thumb carefully caressed the uppermost paper while still watching the guy. But he left without another word.

Only seconds after the door had closed again, the speakers cracked back on. Matt didn’t look up, though. His attention was completely fixed on the sheet music now. It couldn’t be. It simply couldn’t. But it was.

“Matthew, do you realise what you are holding there?” The Voice seemed to be proud. Proud! What the hell?

“It’s Rachmaninoff’s Prelude in G minor, Opus 23, number 5,” he breathed almost to himself.

“Very good,” The Voice chuckled. “Very good. You have really done your homework.”

“Is this the fucking original? It’s fucking old and in ink! What the hell are you, a consummate thief? Mafia?” Despite his predicament Matt couldn’t believe what he was holding in his hands.

“I am no such thing, no. I’m just influential as I have already told you more than once. And to answer your first question, it is indeed the original.” Smug. There was no other word to describe it. The Voice sounded beyond smug.

“And what are you giving me this for?”

“It is a present because you were a really good boy today. I know you love Rachmaninoff and I want you to have something nice. I feel like there is no one who could appreciate this more than you and me.”

Oh God. Now he felt dirty. Good boy? Seriously? And no no no, he didn’t want to have anything in common with that psycho. Truth be told, he was the tiniest bit amazed by the sheets. But, at the same time and considering the overall situation, he couldn’t give two fucks about it. By now he knew better than to voice his thoughts, though. He had taken more than one beating over the past few days. Sometimes he even wondered whether the guy had a split personality given the confusingly mixed signals he received.

So instead he asked, “Is that why you untied me?”

“Yes. I think we are over the bit where you refuse to do as I say. I trust you to do the right thing, Matthew.”
And there was the threatening again. Matt let out a sigh and nodded reluctantly. If it kept his friends safe, he would do “the right thing” for as long as he had to. God knew what would happen after that.

“Okay Matthew, I think that is enough for today. I am going to leave you alone with your gift now. Hopefully you can find the same joy in it that you bring to me.”

Oh God… seriously? He nodded quietly, though, trying very hard to suppress the impending outburst of complete rage. Joy? Fucking joy? But oh, he knew better than to give in to the urge. He wanted to shout and give vent to his frustration, his helplessness, and the paralysis that had taken reign over his mind. But he knew it would do him no good. Quite the contrary.

The speakers went dead, but to his utter surprise the lights stayed on this time. Maybe the guy really wanted to give him some time to read the sheets. The thing was, though, that he absolutely didn’t feel like it. So, just for the sake of appearances, Matt got up from the bench and took the sheets with him as he went over to the bed. He laid them down carefully, the delicate paper rustling between his fingers.

Now he was facing a big problem (apart from the obvious one, of course). On the one hand he really wanted to sleep. His head felt just as befuddled as it had ever since his arrival. He was more tired than he cared to admit, even to himself, and his body felt so heavy that he was a little surprised he hadn’t already sunken into the ground. But on the other hand going to bed with the lights on also meant stripping down in front of a mirror that was basically a window to what was his miserable life right now. It hadn’t taken him too long to figure that one out. Fucking one-way mirror. And a striptease for his psychopath kidnapper wasn’t something he was particularly keen on doing.

With a deep sigh he put his knee on the mattress and heaved himself onto the bedsheets. He crawled over to the headboard, rested his back against the wall and took the sheets from the pillow next to him. It was obvious that it was expected of him to appreciate this gift, so he tried his best to look awed.

Matt felt slightly self-conscious about his little act because he had no idea whether he was still being watched or not. Fucking. One-way. Mirror! It was a bit like Nineteen Eighty-Four, he thought to himself. Big Brother was definitely watching him. Or at least he had the possibility of doing so whenever he pleased.

With another heavy breath he let his head fall back against the wall and closed his eyes. Quietly he began to hum Rachmaninoff’s prelude and fingered the edges of the papers absentmindedly, just for the sake of appearing to be occupied with them. But in his mind he went somewhere completely different.

Dom was there in his thoughts, and Chris and Tom and Morgan and Kelly and Dom A and his family and other friends and basically everyone he cared about. Everyone he had to be strong for. They were laughing and joking around, making fun of each other and basically being their usual selves.

There were no concrete surroundings in Matt’s imagination. He didn’t need that. To imagine a specific place that felt like home wasn’t only impossible for him, it was also unnecessary. With his friends at his side, every place could be home. A fancy hotel room in Tokyo just as much as his house in London or the pier in Teignmouth. It didn’t matter.

Dom’s smile was by far the brightest of them all. The blonde came up to him and put his arm around his shoulders, squeezing the smaller man to his side. Together they watched their friends contently for some time. Somehow it seemed as if they were looking at a replay of their life together. Every face was telling another story.

There was the moment when they’d first met Chris in the bassist’s warm eyes, the first time they’d all gotten high together in the corner of Tom’s cheeky grin, all the happy news about yet another Wolstenholme baby in Kelly’s dimpled cheeks.

“You’re missing out, mate,” Dom whispered close to his ear, the sad smile obvious in his voice.

With a wild mixture of anxiety and anticipation fluttering in his stomach, Matt turned to see what story Dom’s face held for him. Deep down he knew exactly what he was hoping for. But instead of the shining grey he had been expecting, Matt was suddenly faced with a black, blank stare that threatened to swallow him whole. The lazy arm around his shoulders tightened its grip.

Dom was gone. Everyone was gone. Matt was alone, facing a monster, the devil incarnate.

His whole body was frozen in shock, limbs dangling uselessly in the air, as the monster’s hands closed around his throat and lifted him off the ground. Suddenly he remembered. He knew this part already, had lived through it at least a dozen times before. Maybe more.

Next he would fall to the floor, choking as his larynx would still protest against the previously unbearable pressure. There would be more pain, more beatings, more blood, and more threats. Not all of it would be his blood, though. The monster would talk about how it’d hurt his friends and how they’d sacrificed themselves in their fruitless attempts at saving him. It would tell him how all of it was his fault, that he had allowed them to die for him. Then the fingers would wrap themselves around his throat again, squeezing until his larynx would eventually give way to the pressure. Then he would black out.

They say you cannot die in your dreams. Matt was feeling like he just disproved them.

He wrenched his eyes open and sat up straight in less than a second after having been woken by his own suffocated cry. Instinctively he put his hands to his neck, checking his throat almost protectively. There were no bruises. Obviously, dreams didn’t leave damage like that. But the pain remained. And it felt far too real. As he covered his eyes with his hands and tried to steady his frantic breathing, he realised two things. One, the lights had been turned off. Two, his cheeks were wet with tears.

Shit, shit, shit. His heart was still pounding furiously against his ribs, almost as if it was trying to break free. The sheet music must have had slipped off the bed during his restless episode. At least that’s what he thought as he couldn’t find it on the bed. He didn’t give a single flying fuck, though. Too fresh were the memories of his dream, the images of his dead friends and the monster’s face forever burnt into his brain.

Like a beaten dog, he curled up on his side, clutching the pillow tightly with both hands.

“Dom,” he whispered quietly into the dark, his voice breaking on a dry sob.

 
 
Current Mood: peaceful
 
 
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[identity profile] millionstar.livejournal.com on April 8th, 2014 02:48 am (UTC)
Loved how Kelly was able to bring Dom back from the brink. She's badass. <3

nights spent discussing new song ideas over the phone with Dom who always listened to him without giving away his tiredness

... something about this got to me and pulled at my heart. I just... good god, Matt. <3333

This monster is amping up the mindfuckery and it's taking a massive toll on Matt. :/

It's a wonderful job, ladies, as always. Thank you. xx
[identity profile] kaossbells.livejournal.com on April 16th, 2014 08:49 pm (UTC)
Yusss, we love Kelly loads and I think it kinda shows, doesn't it?

I feel your pain. But really, there's nothing more satisfying than typing out words with the intention of making people feel certain feelings. Wait, there is something more satisfying! To hear that it actually worked!

Matt really is very prone to drama, right? One of the many reasons why he makes such a good character.

Thanks so much, love! <3
mjartrod[personal profile] mjartrod on April 8th, 2014 09:51 pm (UTC)
Ugh, was waiting the whole day to read this.
Liked that Kelly wasn't told by Chris about Dom and Matt, but she knows anyway. And she knows it's more than shagging too, doesn't she?
And blimey she sure is a mum. Matt has been missing and who the fuck knows if he'll be released alive. And yet, she is this perfect image of calm and everything-will-be-ok in front of Dom.

I wonder what would've happened had Dom left a reply on the website. I'd even go as far as saying that the kidnapper is probably waiting for something of the sort. Surely he wouldn't think the website wouldn't be discovered after the pics had gone viral?

So yeah, now I've already e-mailed you about that OTHER thing..

And Matt. Oooooh MattMattMattMattMatt :( He needs a cuddle.
I really want to know more about Mr. Perv. He's still such a mystery to me! Can't figure him out. Apparently, neither does Matt though. It really got to me when the lights stayed on and he didn't know what to do cos it meant he needed to put on an act (continuing with it, more like it). Darkness is horrific and yet at the same time, light isn't really any better.

Big tosser wasn't rewarding Matt for anything, he was just showing off and trying to impress him. For a split moment I wished Matt would tear the sheets in pieces. Criminal yes and would serve no purpose other than angering Mr Perv but grrrrrrrrr

That sequence when his mind starts to wander, he falls into that slumber and then it turns into a nightmare... uuuuuugh, so good. I man BAD. That was Very Bad, Very Awful. Easily one of my fave parts of the story so far.
And then with the lights off again and being a bit disoriented... dear god, 24 hours of this. He should eat more. Sadly, the kidnapper can do anything he wants, he doesn't need to poison him through the food and not eating just drains the little energy he has left. He still needs it to fight, even if currently there is nothing he can do except keeping himself alive and lucid :(

I'm going to cry loads when he reunites with Dom. I mean the guys. Really, mostly Dom.


Thinking of recruiting Mr. Perv to kidnap the two of you and write me a new chapter everyday. You wouldn't mind, would you? :p




[identity profile] unomusette.livejournal.com on April 8th, 2014 11:16 pm (UTC)
Sorry to butt in but yes! I wanted Matt to tear up the sheet music too.

And your comment about light being just as horrific as dark was extremely perceptive. Genius in fact, mmmwwwaaa xx
mcsparklez: matt ACL sweat[personal profile] mcsparklez on April 16th, 2014 08:54 pm (UTC)
We're so in love with Kelly. She's a real badass and deserves a lot more appreciation than she gets (both in RL and in fics). She's perfect, really.

It would make a lot of sense that our kidnapper is waiting for someone to react, right? I mean come on, he's posting these things openly, even though this board is hidden in the world wide web doesn't mean that it wouldn't get out eventually. However the question is, what would have happened after Dom's reply?

The other thing. Oh, the other thing. I texted Bells that night and we were both pissed off with you lol. That's okay, though, because you'll get a proper answer soon.

Yeah, Matt's coming to his breaking point. Who can blame him, really? He needs more than a hug :(

I'm not sure about the kidnapping us part. We have jobs, families and tons of Matt pics we can't just leave alone. Unless Matt kidnaps us. That would be okay. He can handcuff me, yes. Oh, yes.

Thanks for your constant support and fangirling, it always makes our day/week/month/year/lives!
mjartrod[personal profile] mjartrod on April 16th, 2014 09:26 pm (UTC)
Hey I'm the only one who's allowed to be pissed off, especially after you stop THERE in 7(a) !! (did i get it very wrong?lol looking forward to get my answer btw!)

Alright then, I'll have Matt kidnapping you. And then he'll make you write about kidnapping him. For me. *scratches head* Confusing? lol



[identity profile] unomusette.livejournal.com on April 8th, 2014 11:10 pm (UTC)
You've chewed me up with this one, lordy this is truly epic.

What I really admire is the way you convey how everyone is feeling without it sounding lame, it's the kind of writing that's easy to take for granted when you're devouring a tasty fic like this but it's a total bitch to actually write convincingly.

Also, and I hate to say it, the villain is completely brilliant in his total evil and madness. We all want Matt to wriggle free but the endless domination and cruelty needs to happen for the baddie to be realistic. Plus I have a sneaky feeling you're enjoying every minute... *spanks*

Millions out of ten xxx
[identity profile] kaossbells.livejournal.com on April 16th, 2014 08:59 pm (UTC)
Ouh thanks, if there's one thing in the world I love to hear than it's the word 'epic' in connection with our story x) No, seriously! Thanks so much for being so kind to us.

Oh yes, it really is a bitch to write, but to hear that people appreciate what we're doing with this is enough to make it worth it. So, thanks for saying that :3

Well... we might be enjoying writing our favourite villain just a wee bit... we might have a cute nickname for him, too... we might... WE LOVE THE CRUELTY! Phew, that's a weight off my chest. Moving on...

Thanks soooo much for your lovely comment! Hope you'll like the upcoming part ;)
[identity profile] missedsadness.livejournal.com on April 9th, 2014 04:57 am (UTC)
Dear Lord I can't deal with this...
OH MY GOD THIS CAN'T BE LIKE THIS I love it<3
mcsparklez[personal profile] mcsparklez on April 16th, 2014 08:57 pm (UTC)
Hahaha, for a moment we were worried that you literally couldn't deal and throw yourself off a cliff or something! Thank god, you added that you love this :D

Makes us super happy, seriously. Even happier that you took the time to leave a comment. Makes our nights. Thank you so, so much! <3
[identity profile] dominic-james.livejournal.com on April 9th, 2014 09:12 pm (UTC)
Pppfffff this is such a great story though I ry feel their pain.*applauds* very well done
[identity profile] kaossbells.livejournal.com on April 16th, 2014 09:01 pm (UTC)
Aww, thanks so much!

We really appreciate that you bothered to leave us your opinion. Hopefully seeing you around here for the next round ;)
[identity profile] space-black-out.livejournal.com on April 9th, 2014 10:37 pm (UTC)
Another great chapter, I loved how Kelly stepped in and calmed Dom, and how she can see how much he loves Matt.
But that last part, God, my heart is breaking I tell you, it's being torn apart :'(

And ending it with his despair and him whispering Dom's name...*takes deep breath*
I want to tear this kidnapping bastard limb from limb, I'll be right behind Dom in the queue!!

Amazingly tense and emotional as always! <333
mcsparklez: dom gig[personal profile] mcsparklez on April 16th, 2014 09:00 pm (UTC)
Kelly is our favourite, really. She's an amazing woman, so naturally we had to add her to this fic. The world needs more Kelly.

Matt's losing it and it's so sad and scary to watch him like this. He misses all of them so much, but Dom is... Yeah. I think it's clear.

The queue is quite long, I think! Might have to squeeze you in before Chris, because we doubt there will be anything left of the kidnapper once Chris has his hands on him. Although I'm sure Dom can do a significant amount of damage, as well, considering it's all about Matt.

Thank you for commenting and loving this and being you! <3
[identity profile] mistake-arrest.livejournal.com on April 13th, 2014 09:56 pm (UTC)
Stop making me cry, goddamnit! *shakes fist* *and that's a very powerful Anna fist* *just so you know* *grr*

All their pain just feels so real that I'm feeling it too. Can't help it. Tried it, no luck. Your fault! *another fist shake*

And in regards to having been sat here waiting for this update with cobwebs between my fingers, yes, it happened. Who cares about work when there's this story!? Been sitting here for MONTHS, it seems ;_;

So much love for Kelly in this, she's such a strong lady and mad props for giving Dom some extra boost to get going.


Dom was there in his thoughts, and Chris and Tom and Morgan and Kelly and Dom A and his family and other friends and basically everyone he cared about. Everyone he had to be strong for. They were laughing and joking around, making fun of each other and basically being their usual selves.

There were no concrete surroundings in Matt’s imagination. He didn’t need that. To imagine a specific place that felt like home wasn’t only impossible for him, it was also unnecessary. With his friends at his side, every place could be home. A fancy hotel room in Tokyo just as much as his house in London or the pier in Teignmouth. It didn’t matter.

Dom’s smile was by far the brightest of them all. The blonde came up to him and put his arm around his shoulders, squeezing the smaller man to his side. Together they watched their friends contently for some time. Somehow it seemed as if they were looking at a replay of their life together. Every face was telling another story.

There was the moment when they’d first met Chris in the bassist’s warm eyes, the first time they’d all gotten high together in the corner of Tom’s cheeky grin, all the happy news about yet another Wolstenholme baby in Kelly’s dimpled cheeks.

“You’re missing out, mate,” Dom whispered close to his ear, the sad smile obvious in his voice.


All of this bit really got to me. I've just got something in my eye, don't mind me...

Congratulations for writing this story, seriously.

And, well, I can't seem to be able to finish a comment without saying that I really love both of you.

<333

!!!!

[identity profile] kaossbells.livejournal.com on April 16th, 2014 09:15 pm (UTC)
Never! That's our one true goal, girl ;)

It's actually very affirming to hear how much you feel with them. Makes us feel like we're doing something right here.

Nah, it's not been months... has it? Please tell me it hasn't xD ..........what is work?

Awww, we love you quoting stuff! Much easier to understand how you felt about it when you show your "fave" passages.

Thanks you for your kind comment, Anna <3 It's much appreciated!

[identity profile] nuraicha.livejournal.com on April 17th, 2014 02:54 pm (UTC)
MY HEART I CAN'T ANYMORE THIS IS SO FUCKING SAD AND IT HURTS SO MUCH AND I JUST WANT TO KILL THAT BLOODY MONSTER WITH MY OWN HANDS AND OMG MATT MY BABY JUST SHIT AND KELLY OMG I LOVE HER SHE KNOWS EVEN MORE THAN DOM AND MATT THEMSELVES AND OMG REALLY I CAN'T THIS STORY IS JUST SO GOOD
mcsparklez: matt dom french int[personal profile] mcsparklez on April 18th, 2014 08:49 am (UTC)
Lmao I would be lying if I said I didn't like your Twitter comments last night and how we seem to have thrown you into a deep pit of ugly feels and tears. (I STILL WANT TO COMFORT YOU, THOUGH, SO HERE, HAVE A HUG <333)

I think a lot of people would love to get their hands on Mr. Kidnapper, so be quick to buy a ticket and get in the queue, because once Dom and Chris have found him, there won't be much left than a small heap of ashes, I'm sure of that.

Kelly is great, isn't she?! We're so in love with her. She's a mum, of course she knows about her boys, even when they don't realise it themselves.

Thank you so much for your comment! Makes both Bells and me super happy whenever we see your name popping up here. Hopefully we'll keep doing you justice and that you don't combust of feels. Or worse, that you want to jump our throats XD See you on Seven <3
[identity profile] zetastation.livejournal.com on May 5th, 2014 01:25 am (UTC)
Wow... :o Wait, let me recover... :o are you sure you girls are not scriptwriters from the movie industry? Because, oh god, this could make a GOOOOOOOOD film! :o

And yes, it's me, Pam. Hello again! I finally had time to read this! (I know I still need to catch up on the other chapters! I'll do it this week, I promise!) Omg this chapter was *intense*! :o

“Chris didn’t have to say anything. It’s in your eyes.”
“My eyes?”, the blonde asked.
She simply shrugged. “The boys might be oblivious, but female intuition and motherly instinct can’t be fooled.”
She actually grinned at that. “I won’t tell a soul. And I won’t tell anybody about your other little secret, either.”
Dom frowned at that. What little secret? “What do you mean?”
“You’ll figure it out, darling.”
Kelly FTW <3 And I want to know this 'secret' :P I wonder what it is...

Dom’s smile was by far the brightest of them all. The blonde came up to him and put his arm around his shoulders, squeezing the smaller man to his side. Together they watched their friends contently for some time. Somehow it seemed as if they were looking at a replay of their life together. Every face was telling another story.
There was the moment when they’d first met Chris in the bassist’s warm eyes, the first time they’d all gotten high together in the corner of Tom’s cheeky grin, all the happy news about yet another Wolstenholme baby in Kelly’s dimpled cheeks.
“You’re missing out, mate,” Dom whispered close to his ear, the sad smile obvious in his voice.
this was one of the parts that brought tears to my eyes :'((( it's so sad! I can almost feel the agony they're feeling, how desperate they are... knowing a person for ages and suddenly you have no idea if they are good or not... if they'll ever come back... geez....

I'm sorry for my late comment, girls >_< life/uni is being hell! But I'll be free after Tuesday!

Keep with your good work! <3
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